I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
