I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
