For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
