Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
