so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
