Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
