your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
