i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
