I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Oh god it's open bar.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
