I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize