that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
