How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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