3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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