I'm lost and stupid without you.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
