I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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