Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
