Porn is love you can see.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
