I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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