I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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