i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
