the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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