Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
