What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
