three words: i give head
three words: not that well
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
