dude i'm inner monologue high
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
