My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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