Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
