apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
