and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
