I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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