I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
