I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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