That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
