I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
two words: eviction party
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
