I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize
