grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
