do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
