epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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