I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I wish you could order shots online.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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