was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
