How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
The adults are the big ones right?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize