so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
