so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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