does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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