Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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