I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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