Nicole vs. Life
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
