i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I supernannyed him into submission
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
