its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
