you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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