You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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