I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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