I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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