38 yer olds are good kisserssss
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
